You know the story. You come to the second life, make some kind of avatar, make your first steps in the new world. And, with a bit of luck, you sense all the dangers of being present in the on-line world. Mama, not to mention all the internet advisors, told you how dangerous it can be talking to strangers. And those avatars around you, they are strangers par excellence. Not just ordinary strangers on the streets, in the bars. These are even more strange. And maybe, even more dangerous.
So, at those first days of your virtual life you decide to keep your lives separate. First life tab in the profile stays empty and you do your best not to allow your human to reveal itself. But, you meet other people there, and… humans are social beings, and so are we, the avatars… and bit by bit, you find yourself telling which time zone you're living in, telling which is your mother tongue. It's ok, you say, those info are quite practical. And it is safe. You cannot be traced by time zone and language. First crack in the wall has been made.
But you won't stop there if you keep enjoying your adventure in the virtual realm. You will make friends. You will talk to them often, and despite the fact that your first life should remain separate and that avatar can have a distinctive life and personality, some things are just related to your human and to first life. You might mention them. And the people you meet might mention their first lives too.
I am not going to be your mom. You know how to protect yourself. You know what to tell and who to tell. I really hope you do. One day, you'll find out that it is not about knowing if somebody's avatar is of the same sex as it's human. After all, that is statistical data. Does it really matters to you? Or you may be really introduced to that person, knowing personal history, feelings and some intimate stuff. Very intimate stuff.
And now we get to the point. On one side we have so called RL info, statistical data about somebody's genitals, place of birth and living, language… maybe even a name. On the other,we have a life story, feelings, thoughts. We are aware that both can be made up. But, which one hands the truth? Even if it is made up? And which one do you care about?
The fact is, one can easily tell you whatever about their "life facts". With a bit of skill and concentration I can tell you that I am 37 years old male in Canada, and tomorrow I can be 22 years old female from India. And in both cases I can add a bit of story to support the facts. What does it tell you about me? Nothing, except that I may be a good liar. But if we go to the personal and intimate stuff, it tells a lot. Even if it is all made up. Being intimate and being anonymous can go hand in hand.
*smiles* A sweet post (I think :-p).
I doubt you whould pass as coming from India since somebody could ask you to talk in… wait, wasn’t it me who doesn’t like to use voice or talk in spanish because it breaks the magic? Maybe you whould, after all :-p.
Yes, there is always the possibility of people faking their virtuality; there are probably two or three persons at SL I whould put my hand on the fire about their identity, and knowing I could end in intensive care anyway.
But giving away made up things as intimate facts? Yes, it still could tell about the person who does, about it’s feelings, but the magnitude of the lies whould make things really difficult with time; when you get intimate with your loved ones you need a real good excuse to stop, and if you don’t you are going to pile lie after lie, and it will crumble sooner or later. A recipe for disaster.
Ah, and about you don’t being our mom… the first time I comed to SL I stepped the line and gived too much personal information but, luckily, nothing happened. With the blog I am carefull, in a way, and I play with the idea that very little of my friends and family speak english to the point of seeing me in it (of course, if my husband read it I’m licked; only the “one of five” phrase is a good enough motive to kill me :-p).
But, while thinking about some RL issues I’ve been having this week, I noticed that if Nat gived a true effort to it, she whould probably be able to ubicate my RL self.
It happended as you say; you comment this, then that; talk about where you live in general ways, then about your work, your family… some things that happens on RL can be traced by it’s date, even googled, and then connected to one particular woman. Scary.
Not scary about her, because she has all my confidence, but simply the possibility. A holiday at Spain, the blog revealed and associated with somebody who truly exists. Scary.
And still, I cannot stop :-p. I keep balance the risks with the, well, the life it gives to me. I keep thinking that it will not happen, and thinking about ways to deny what is written if discovered…
One of five. I am so “f”ed :-).
“Being intimate and being anonymous can go hand in hand”
Yes, but the question it’s not if it’s right or wrong to do it but if the people involved think the same about this. Intimacy, as the right to privacy bear degrees so differents from one person to another.
It would spoil romance asking “before” about what do you think on this and usually it would be preferrable to try to understand your “flirt” before you get involved.
The other issue that comes to my mind, is that we all have a “grade of trackability” on the internet. I would start from there to protect my anonymousity and privacy. Google your SL name, do you find something that recalls to any personal infos? If the answer is “yes” then you can quit worrying about your annymousity, sooner or later someone, a lover, a curious friend, a stalker, will grab that infos and will bring them into your SL. I hope it won’t be too painful, honestly.
Reading Eidur comment, I noticed I crossed the line.
Yes, I’ve always being carefull not to mention private things from people who didn’t give me their permission (ok, maybe a little hint sometimes); but I misstepped without noticing, with my husband. that “one of five”. We have joked about it some times, but it still is a tender spot for me, and I brought it without thinking…
So, I don’t worry too much about my RL info traveling to SL, unless it brings my SL back to RL; there are things on my blog that maked me worry about the consecuences, but this is the first time I feel really ashamend.
Oh, I can say I am from India, my English is just that bad and rare are those that understand swahilli so I can mummble whatever I want. :)
Yes, it is scary. But then, avatars would be quite poor beings without their humans’ stories behind. No personal histories older than a year or two, no 24 hours days to live, living in the perfect world with a little drama maybe. Poor beings would be boring as hell if there wasn’t their humans to spice things up.