Most of us, second life main grid residents, feels pretty familiar with all kind of cybersex activities going on around us, whether we participate or not. Colorful and diverse surroundings introduced to us some things we hardly believed some people can dream of. But, every once in a while story leaks out of the grid to the real world like in Future and Virtual Rapists found lately on feministing.com. In short, article is about opportunity of role-playing a rape scene, right here on the streets of the second life.
You know… the “virtual you” can get a job, attend some social events, go to the supermarket, and then rape someone in an alley. This is a game that people get so absorbed in that they use it to help kids overcome social anxiety disorders. Now it’s normalizing the idea of rape. I’m disgusted.
It needs two to play the rape game and author missed the fact that those balls work the same way as all the other all over the world: for the animation to be started each of the participants must choose to participate, and each can get out of it any time he or she wants. (Freezing the client due to lagging is not considered here.)
Though it is understandable that idea of virtual rape can be disgusting for many people whether they are familiar with role-playing, pose balls and all the other mechanics of virtual worlds, things are much different than might seem in the first place. According to wikipedia sexual fantasies that include rape are more common that we might want to admit:
It is estimated that 24% of men and 36% of women have had a rape fantasy, and 10% of women report this is their favorite type of fantasy.
But some questions remain. Is virtual rape way to promote it in real life is a question for Avalon Birke, who is running The Counseling Center on Nexus Island (190, 176, 26):
That’s a very important question, one I can’t answer. Some might say acting it out virtually can prevent it, by giving the person a “safe” outlet. Others will say it creates a mindset where that behavior is acceptable and can then bleed into RL. I haven’t seen enough studies either way.
I wonder the same about age play. The question there being is it all in fun, or does it promote pedophilia? It’s impossible to say. Same argument about violence on TV and movies – does it breed violence in RL? No definite answers, but something for all of us to just be aware of and in tune with because these new environments impact our culture.
But, staying out of pose balls doesn’t mean one cannot be raped in SL. In this case we speak of real virtual rape.
I don’t know as much about the male experience here, but as a female when I talk to other females here, there is a common understanding of harassment from griefers, much of it aggressively sexual. It is damaging to you, whether or not it is physical. We have had to redefine what we call sexual assault. We handle it differently, but most women I have spoken to (socially, not as a counselor) say it affected them deeply in a negative way.
We can’t equate RL rape with what happens here. But there is a real element of damage to the psyche here from being griefed or assaulted in a violent or sexual way here.
It is not animation or name what counts. Whether we call our world virtual, metaverse, or second life, whether it is a game, a platform or a community, it reflects us and influences us. And while some games we play can be rough they are not necessarily violent. Vice versa, some behavior we lack to point to as violent can be far more damaging.
Thanks for raising this issue…yes, quite a difference between consensual rape-enacting poseballs where both partners click to join, and being aggressively griefed. Food for thought in this relatively new environment, particularly in terms of the RL feelings it brings up based on the experiences of our SL avatars. This is a good dialogue to keep going.
RL feelings based on avatars experiences and RL feelings towar avatar are going to buzz in my head next weeks, cause I’m redoing mine. but, I have to keep myself quiet not to interfere in the purity of process as much as possible.
[...] bump the girls around. No, it is not harmful. It is annoying. Months ago, when I was writing about virtual rapes, many were there to tell me that it is not the same as the real rape. Like I am stupid and blind. [...]
Seriously everyone…you can not call using a poseball to “interact” with other avatars raping. The real virtual rape is the usage of cages, orbiters and pushing weapons on you while you are chating with a friend. The virtual rape is griefing…but there are ways to stop such griefers from bugging you. There are many toolds, even freebie ones that create a kind of shield around you stoping any cages or orbiters or indeed pushed from even getting to you. Thanks the scripters that care and share these tools with us.
Zero Upshaw
I agree. If it is consensual then it cannot be labeled as a rape. Griefing in the sexual context is a rape in virtual environment (and it is not the same as a rape in the meatspace). Role-playing a rape, when all the participants want to play it… well, it’s role-playing. It is understandable that some might feel disgusted, but they are free to turn their heads and TP to the other sim. After all, all the sims with rape/capture/violence activities politely hand you a notecard and tell you what is going on around. It’s your choice. As well as it is other people’s choice what games they will play.
Rape is wrong even when RP’d one it is against the TOS in SL.
It also sends the wrong message to these immature little boys that such activities by glorifying them and they leave their sims of sickness and carry this new found knowledge out onto the main grid or even worse into RL.
They say that a serial rapist or killer starts out small with pornography, killing small animals and as the need to feel the thrill the progress up the ladder until they are actually committing the acts that they are fantasizing about.
So yes, report the activity that breaks the TOS and make sure that the sim is age verified like it should then leave.
Karen, you are not making distinction between three things here: RL rape, RP rape and griefing. And differences between them are huge.
RL rape is hurting the actual person in real life, in meat, flesh and blood. That is not to be tolerated.
RP rape is a play of two consensual adults. It is completely voluntar activity. Nobody gets hurt. And it’s private. Any action against that play (of two consensual adults, I repeat) is violence against their freedom to play whatever they want to. And all the ToS’es of the cyberspace ARE NOT (and should not be) stronger than anybody’s human right to play and express freely.
Stories that serial rapists start with pornography then proceed to killing small animals and rapings are just cheap propaganda stories that are on the level of "they say". Who said? As you could read above, honest answer of psychologist is that there is no studies to support your "they say that…". For your information, large part of our civilization enjoys porn. Just look at the amount of it on the web. Just remember that it was common form of art in ancient Greece and Rome. And you want us to believe that all those people killed a small animal this morning and will rape somebody today. I don’t think so.
No, I am not going to report anybody’s role-play. I don’t feel like a moral cop that imposes anybody’s "rightnesness and safety" upon somebody’s freedom.
On the other hand, I will handle every attempt of griefing. Because I won’t tolerate anybody’s attack on other people’s right to freedom.
Honestly, the issue is by no means new, and was first raised even before the Internet became the Internet – the particular case in question was what is properly termed sexually charged griefing, since any kind of actual rape is impossible anyway, and you know… anyone can do this to anyone, and neither actual gender, knowledge of gender or presented gender are a requirement, gender imagined completely by the griefer themselves is enough, and can be same, or opposite to their own. It’s a human thing. As a result, any arguments on the effect of the capability to engage in such activity on offline behavior are meaningless, since the actual effects have, in essence, occured even before the griefer ever came online.
But there’s a minor point that irks me that is in truth anything but minor:
People who say "X is against TOS" haven’t actually read neither the Terms of Service nor the Community Standards that this document refers to, and they do not contain a prohibition of any kind of consensual activity as they are worded. Any kind.
That the actual governance practice has little to do with TOS is another story.
Meanwhile, I swear by my mute button and weapon collection. :)
And to add to the ToS annoyance: some people (those who probably never read the ToS nor CS) are putting ToS over the law, constitutions and human rights. That deserves another post though.
Problem with "rape" in virtual environment is the same as it was with other ways of sexual harassment. On one side you have people who try to make it equal to actual rape, on the other are those who will say it’s not real rape so it’s nothing to care about. Between them, we have to rely on mute buttons and weapons collections.