Many of us state and believe that the two worlds don't mix. We don't fill out first life tabs, we don't give away any RL information. We don't point to anything that can reveal the RL identity. We protest against verification. What else can we do to protect the barriers between the first and the second life? While we are busy doing all that, the two lives mix more and more.
The fact that no resident knows your RL name/age/sex/location, doesn't mean much. After all, that is not mixing of the lives, that is privacy. But, what happens in my first life affects how I behave in my second life. Ok, that is something we are usually aware of. But, what happens in my second life affects the real one! And, let's not lie to ourselves, the impact is huge.
How many times have you cought your human self smiling because something is happening to your avatar on the grid? We are not talking about you laughing or smiling because somebody told a joke. We are talking about you becoming aware that you are smiling for a while because your avie is listening sweet things whispered in the ear. Yes, there is no real and second life mixing. You both don't have much RL info about each other. Maybe you put borders and rules so your second life won't hurt your RL relationship. That is a great thing you did, but don't say that there is no mixing of lives. When you are smiling when somebody whispers, you are reacting emotionally. And, I am sure it is not only me, you might come up with a smile upon your face when not in the world, maybe when a thought comes to your mind while you are crossing the street.
Or, you may not be emotionaly affected, maybe you are into business of second life. Well, that makes things even easier. If into business, your real and second life are sharing that bank account. They are officially mixed. Say no more.
Or maybe you are just building and innocently socializing? Hmmm…. maybe you are saved. But I doubt it.
So, let's not lie to ourselves. Real and second life mix. Tell me about your lives mixing?
Yes, I agree, RL and SL mix and expand upon each other. My relationships with people are real in SL–whether idle socializing or role playing–it is real contact and often real emotion. The difference is that in SL all of the interaction is through a digital lens. When I remove the computer and interact with people in “real life” or “first life” or maybe better “meatpace”–the analog universe–then there is no digital lens, there is less distance. But as SL and virtual worlds evolve, the distance decreases in digital space as well. My goal is to not let the analog world define my digital experience: What new ways are there to engage my senses in the digital world? Can I learn a new sense beyond the five I was born with? Can I use sight, sound, touch, taste and smell in a way to directly feel the digital? Can I shed my body?
Thanks for the thoughts–I’m having my morning coffee, and you’ve got me asking good questions.
I don’t know why, I just felt uncofortable reading this post… Maybe this is because when I got in SL in the early days, being immediatley aware of how dangerous this world can be for a person like me, I stated to myself – “no, I won’t mix. I’ll be good, and I’ll be safe and I won’t mix”.
And well, the thing worked for a while. Tough I noticed that when I felt good in SL I brought that mixed emotions with me outside, being smart and brilliant with people in RL. But hey that’s not a problem, that’s just psycho teraphy, isn’t it?
Months passed by, I met wonderful people, I met bad people, I met a special person.
And now I can easily understand that “you come up with a smile upon your face when not in the world, maybe when a thought comes to your mind while you are crossing the street” because it happens more and more… Am I mixing? Yes I am. Will I regret it? Only time will tell. The only thing I feel really comfortable with, is that I cannot waste all this. I would be mad to refuse such sweet emotions and feeling just to protect my RL. That would be a Second Life not worth living.
For me the main effect of my RL over SL is there is never enough time (try making a public park when you only have free time after midnight :-p), and sometimes the intimity breach, when my husband walks around or my daughter awakens.
At the other hand, SL keeps infiltrating more and more at RL… I wanted to have my RL life and then my SL hours, even if that means little, very little sleep. But the relationships, building (did I mention the park?), devices I am working on and upgrades for the old ones, social events, etc… it is hard that two or three hours pass whithout my mind coming back to SL.
That isn’t only extenuating, is a bit sad :-p.
wow! here you are! in denial all these time that these two mix and affect ech other.
so, now when you recognized this, it’s only up to you to take it as something cool, good, accepting or if this mix and interference causes you troubles and unconformity in RL, face it! deal with it!
it can be as good as it can be bed!
it depends only on U!!!!!!! unfortunately!
@alex: Maybe I am wrong, but we’re not even close to all five senses in virtual worlds. Going to the next one? Hm, I don’t know how should that look alike, though idea is not uninteresting.
@eidur: Yes, mixing of lives can be risky. In a way, this generation of residents are pioneers of such an adventure. We’re the first to invest (that is a very ugly word in this context, I know) their emotions in something we don’t know much about. Psychology is making first steps in virtual reality. We are learning basics of all the ways we can communicate in virtual environment. But, we’re brave, young and having fun :)
@london: Time is one big issue. I myself am having problems with lack of time and lack of sleep. Luckily, I learned to control myself a bit, so I don’t find myself in painfull situations like “OMG, it is dawn and I have to wake up in three hours.” Speaking of which, sometimes it is hard to fall asleep immediately after logging out. That is not SL specific, staying long in front of a monitor is not a friend to good sleep.
@tanaj: I am dealing with my second life very well. Thank you for the interest. And, I don’t remember I was in denial about mixing realities.
The emotional spillover is incredible.
I was surprised to find myself feeling RL emotions as strongly as I have in response to my SL friends. Spillover is a good way to put it. It’s scary and wonderful all at the same time.
When I first started getting into SL, I thought “I can be a TOTALLY different person in here”. Not just having an avatar that doesn’t look like me, but I can be the nicest person or the meanest person in SL. Whatever i chose to be, right? Cause it’s a “second” life. Then I realized, no matter what I write about myself in my profile, I can’t really be that when I’m having a chat with someone. In RL, I’m a nice person. In SL, I classified myself as a sassy stuck up girl in my profile, but I was the nicest person when talking to someone. No matter what I tried to be, however I was in RL corresponded to how I was in SL. I’m shy in RL, so I’m just as shy in SL. I find it funny trying to seperate RL from SL completely now.. there’s not really a way to do that unless you’re lucky enough to convince yourself you have two personalities.
Hardly you can do that. But yes, one can “drive” different characters for avatar and human, or with two different avatars. It is not just convincing yourself you have two personalities, it takes much more. One have to practice, and even then there is a limit how far we can go and in which direction. I bet you will find Immersionists vs. Augumentationists an interesting discussion.