gonzo phenomenology of virtual worlds
Last thing I remember is falling asleep at the protest in support for monks in Burma. We were there for hours and, encouraged by anti-idle HUD, I left my mind to wander into dreams. I recall my human disconnecting later that evening, taking me back into database. It was a sleep that lasted much longer than expected. Do avatars dream of sculpted sheep? Probably not. I dream my human's madness.Trying to reconnect, calling me from distance, strange voice saying something like agni.secondlife, something about grid status… You know those weird things that happens in nightmares. Then a jump into flatworld, checking blog.secondlife… unavailable. Gmail… unavailable. Disconnected!
In those moments when dreams come to the point of realizing the catastrophic truth, humans get awake and scream. Avatars don't. We just continue sleeping in our cozy databases dreaming our human's madness. Or at least, I thought so.
It was a bit of surprise to see that I won't be missed. Human just rolled back into the bed, head deep in the pillows, blanket over the head. Were my feelings hurt? Have I felt neglected and forgotten? No, as a good girl I rolled into my own sleep, dreaming… you know what.
And the dreams were not nice at all. Like Siddartha Gautama (later known as Buddha) after leaving his palace, I was to be faced with pain and sickness, problems of the meatspace. We were both tired and exhausted. We both needed a rest. We had too much of this, too much of each other.
Two days later, dreams got prettier. Me dreaming of my human having a nice sunny autumn afternoon with friends, enjoying the absence of the Internet. Then, as any kid who dreams about what misses the most, I was dreaming my human watching a re-run of the TV show. On the screen, it was me flying over the islands of the second life, walking in the Phat Cat, hitting the invisible wall that hasn't rezzed yet. And I was dreaming my human sitting by the console, fingers on the arrow keys, talking about second life. Then switching the talk about the internet addiction, ruining the moment of the two of us being together again.
And now, after human's body is repaired and debugged, the question remains: how much is too much? When we cross the line between healthy use and addiction? In that TV show my human's answer was:
How much time do I spent in second life? A lot! But, as long as I have something to do, it's ok.
You lying bitch! Does drinking coffee counts as doing something? Or sitting at the sea shore, listening to the sound of waves? So, once again, how do you know that you are (or not) living too much of second life?
7 Responses for "Unplugged"
time is immaterial. adapting to rl social concepts (schedules/time/work/holidays/etc) may do most grievous harm to the freedom we have in our new timeless world. adapting to the “moment” as it is, seems to work for me. open the door. go in. be amazed.
I’m with EnCore -
I’ve been asking myself some related questions lately - “what does sophrosyne look like?” - “what is balance?” “is balance even necessary?”
I think what I’ve come up with is, do right by everyone you care about. That means the atomic personality too. Turning them into a cash farmer to support us, that’s wrong. Assigning all the fun to us and all the duty to them, that’s wrong.
Likewise, letting duty and obligation eat all the joy from both worlds, that’s wrong too.
Over at Virtual Worlds Connect, Richard Bartle said that his goal in virtual worlds is “freedom through fun.”
We have to allow the atomic avatars the ability to be free as well, but not at the price of our own freedom….
You are living… does it matter how you do it ? Does it matter what part of you wins the battle ? At the end of the day… it’s just YOU.
My only problem about this is:
the day I realize I am enjoying my SL much more than my RL, will I be able to be so honest to admit that to myself? And to take a “cure” about that? I don’t like to question myself too much about that, I already have conscience that I’m a potential addict, will I be able to stop myself in time? And, mostly will-you/could-you my SL friends help me when the time will come?
Much as I like to keep the two worlds separate, I think this issue is one where you have to take a step back and look at your SL and FL as a whole. Spending too much time on any one thing or person, no matter how good that thing may seem, can sometimes be a sign of imbalance in your life.
Of course, SL is problematic in this regard since it contains so many activities inside it: friends, love, hobbies, education, and fun. This makes it harder to treat SL as a single “thing” in FL units.
I *think* I’ve got some balance now, helped out by FL obligations that my human takes very seriously combined with the use of a Google Calendar to keep my time rationed out. I’m also learning not to log as much unless I’ve got a specific goal to carry out or person I want to see. For example, last night I didn’t have any plans, and no one was on. I *could* have logged in anyway and wandered around, maybe even played with scripting, but the human was tired so we just curled up with a nice book instead. Nights where I’m only going to be able to get in for an hour or so anyway? I just hand them off to the human for watching some anime or spending time with friends and loved ones.
Getting out to smell the flowers in FL is nice too. I felt a lot more balanced after my human took a long weekend at the beach, and I suspect next year’s trip to FL Japan will send my in-world creativity through the roof. I guess what I’m saying is having a full life in First Life can infuse vitality and creativity into our Second Lives and vice versa, even if we’re not explicity carrying things from one world to the other.
So, here’s to balance!
*points @ Argent* See why I adore her?!
Yeah, the “no random time” thing is a big tool for balance. If I have some extra time, I’m much more likely to spend it in the 2D digital world, blogging and commenting, than in going in-world and getting IM-stormed by people I’m not that interested in talking to.
Argent’s point about atomic-world creativity inspiring digital-world creativity is a really, really good one, and one I have to put into practice….
There are many reasons to adore Argent. :p
I left comments rolling without my interference ’cause I wanted to give my mind some time to clear from the subject and decide. It is not definitive yet, but I am very fond of the idea of disconnecting completely for a few days each month. Just as Argent said, it boosts my SL creativity. Not to mention that my human starts feeling refreshed after getting more lazy hours.
And this gives us an answer to Sand’s question which part of me “wins the battle”. It is not about winning or loosing, it is win-win situation.
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