People will start drama over anything. It really doesn't matter if it's stolen boyfriend, creations that look similar, somebody's way of life, branches of a prim tree going over the parcel line. Drama can be made up of anything. What matters is that they need to get their private sitcom going. Question is whether you want to play a role in that sitcom.
And when I say "want to play" I don't mean whether you want to tell what that boy feels about you, or that creations are significantly different, or to protect your freedom to live the way that you will, or to state that the tree is protecting you from viewing the ugly neighbour's building. It's the question if you want to have anything with somebody else's sitcom.
Because, it's not about boys, girls, creativity, lifestyles or trees. It's about drama itself. Some people are just bored if there is no drama around. It's their brain food. It's your reactions and emotions that feeds them, whether they are aware of it or not. And they will provoke your reactions and suck your emotions as long as you have any. Then, they'll have to leave searching for an another victim. Emotion parasites or vampyrism would be the right expressions.
Don't forget that it's an infectious thing. Before you know, you are in the game, you are addicted to drama, to yours and other people's reactions and emotions. You want to listen about it, you want to participate. You need your daily dose. And you won't even know that you are. Not until it's almost too late.
But it's never too late. Just cut the crap you don't need in your life. Turn off and leave. Leave the parasites in their smelly pits. Yup, this might take some strength. First and the only rule: whatever is on the table, leave it. Whether it's your reputation, that stolen boyfriend's love, money or whatever, it's only a mean to keep you in the game and take even more from you. So run for your life and don't turn back. Be sure that's the only way to keep what you have.
A case of exceptional danger is a friend's drama. Infected friend can drag you into their own affaires. And you'll be tempted to jump in, it's your friend and maybe it's not them that wants that drama, they've been dragged into it. Well, I can only repeat: Run away! Now! It's not friendship messing you into some pointless drama, sucking your feelings, nerves and time. If you want to save a friend try to keep them away from drama. By any means don't jump in. Do your best to help them out, to cut their connection to infected events. Make some firm ground for them, give them shelter to heal, but don't participate. If they don't feel like giving up, leave them. Save yourself. Two victims are not better than one.
Stay firm. If that means to be rude or impolite… well life is rough sometimes. If you have to stop answering IM's, avoiding some places, muting people… do it. There is no "just one more time" excuse. Make a clean cut. Now. Go live happily.
Cut and run. Don’t look back. I like that. Easy to do with all of them except the biggest participant, my RL spouse. Shall I cut and run there, too? Perhaps.
Thanks for sharing this.
Princess Ivory
This is such an interesting post. And a very true one. As a perfect drama queen I have to say that I enjoyed some from time to time. And it’s true it can indeed become an addiction. So run, run, run. Yes try to avoid it as far as it possible.
But there’s something I cannot agree with you. I know that there are “Friends” and “friends”. But when drama gets to struck the few ones you can really name as “Friends”, the ones you think about, even when you’re offline, well, I think that they deserve a chance, especially when/if they ask for advice. Of course, it’s good to try and stray them away from drama, even following your points in this post. And yes, leave them be, if the situation gets unmanageable. But denying your help just as part of a “no drama plan” or “no drama strategy” or however we’re gonna name this it’s just a “nice” way to escape (boring) troubles. Ok, sure, who needs an unhappy second life, I understand that. I’m just telling that escaping is not always a solution. And losing a Friend because of running away may be much more painful than drinking some drama.
Cheers!
Hmm, seems like this post needs a bit of editing. If a Friend is in trouble, help them. Accent was supposed to be on "Don’t jump in". Drag them out. You’re not helping by becoming another victim.
This should be answer to Princess Ivory’s concerns too.
Excellent advice!
i love looking at drama, wether it be someones elses or someone having drama with me.
i find it so incredibly amusing and interesting to see how incredibly crazy someone can get over the lightest of things plus it makes for good gossip and conversation sharing with my friends lol.
how would you call someone who sucks on the drama parasyte for entertainment? XD
with that said, i think you gave excellent advice to people who want to avoid drama or want to get out of it. i would add though, that people need to remember sl is just a virtual world aka game. there might be real peoples feeling involved but there is no way that things are always so dramatic that the drama makers make it sound. they will have forgotten by next week anyway.
Not a parasite for entertainment but a parasite for emotions. We’re not on the same page here. There is a difference between dragging people into exhausting game and making a subject for conversation.
I must admit that I enjoyed one of the recent dramas and even was accused for that when this post was published. But looking at drama and participating in it are far too different things.
thats true and i understood what you ment but in a way for me it still deals with emotions in the way that i belittle the persons emotion. people who cause drama often have very intense emotions. so intense that it makes them do irrational things which is the drama.
i render there emotion as worthless and insignificant. which pretty much causes more drama because a drama person, i think, causes drama because they want to be acknolewdge and have their feelings of pain acknowledge.
actually could this be a way to stop drama, to acknowledge the pain the drama maker has? if you dont give the drama maker some ammunition to work with to cause more drama. would that kill it in the egg?
Yes, I think so. They’ll just move on to somewhere else.
i like this…it’s so true and what i am going through right now..this helped me alot!!
Thanks for the advice!!
You’re welcome. :)
sorry I didn’t read this before. It explains some (but not all) of the behaviours I encountered.
So nothing is real? then why should I even be here? for dressing up my av?
I didn’t said that nothing’s real. But drama has nothing to do with that.
morning d. :)
I assume you don’t go around in your RL, calling anyone who is expressing some real emotion or feels close to his friend, a drama queen. So my question is how long into SL will I be doing this? I would think that as a meta resident you would like the meta to be real rather than an exhagurated school play version of life. I know everything is what YOU choose to see through your eyes. Why do you choose to see it like this?
I am not talking about expressing real emotions or feels. Drama, in this context, is fabricated just for the reason of getting attention, making things revolving around the fake issue. Yes, I usually chose not to participate in those.
I was recently dragged into an imaginary drama. My friend became critical of me, the way I leave my life, which has been pretty great for the past three years.
Her life has been miserable and she will tell anyone that. She has psychological problems that prevent her from succeeding from anything. I have been one of the few people who has been continuously supportive of her. However, I have never said directly: the reason you can’t succeed is because you won’t commit to anything.
So when she started criticizing me, I finally communicated that, not really about her, but in a more general way. Like, formula: care about something, devote time and energy toward it = results.
Then later she seemed to be acting more and more erratic and critical and I finally told her she was being aggressive. And I also told her that her habit of seeking out men just to pay for her makes me concerned/unwiling to trust her.
I think this is the end of the friendship. When we were friends she always had stories of those people who had told her something about herself and how they were so intolerant and she didn’t want that type of influence. I will now become one of those stories. She gave me a cold goodbye.
I think I will be better off without her. The only thing I regret is all that wasted time and energy. It feels like I was doing work for free all that time.
Hopefully the next time I do that kind of work and support (teaching) I will be getting paid and it will all go toward supporting myself and my mate and it won’t be a waste of time. I think I am attracted to deficient people. They listen to me and value my intelligence more (or seem to) more than regular people. Maybe it’s just flattery but I guess I’ll find out when I’m in the classroom.
im 17..i’ve always lived in drama central..girls are so mean..it’s always “he said this..she said that.” well you know what? i can’t take this anymore..there’s nothing that i or anyone can do about this..i’ve tried to avoid this..but it doesn’t work. i just want to leave this stupid little hell hole of a town. this is the reason for so many teenagers committing suicide..or running away..wow..my boyfriend left me because of drama..they don’t think my heart is hurtin bad enough?i hate my life. i hate school. why are people so mean? why can’t they stop? i need to run away..but there’s nowhere to go..what is there to do when there’s no escape?
I completely agree with avoiding drama and the advice to run and not go back and just not have anything to do with it is perfect. my question is, how can you run when people just started drama with you for no apparent reason and its affecting you badly, no matter how hard you try to avoid it. i was on facebook this week and someone posted something about me so i commented on their wall and that stirred the entire thing up and then all of a sudden everyone corners me acting like i started it when i didn’t.
huh! Drama is like live sand. More you try to defend, the more you drown. Try to explain yourself to friends. Then you'll know who your friends really are.