I got an email from a friend yesterday. One of those that makes you worried in the first sentence: (you will understand that I changed her name with asterisks)
I realized I've got totally addicted. And not to the SL world overall but to a single person (and that's even worse). I know I am projecting all of my sweet illusions over her but I can't help myself.
No, this is not one of the lesbian love stories so common to the second life. Single person my friend is referring to is herself. Or better, her avatar. And it's not love in this case. Well, not in the usual sense of the word.
Actually, due to the latest events, I can assure you that ****** has a better social life than the human me. Of course, she is meant to be a much better person than I am. Well, looks like she succeeded a lot. She got incredibly popular! She is a part of me of course, part of that sweet incredible teen that lost itself long ago. Now, I have no fear to tell you that I am getting jealous of her.
We'll skip the next part and roll to the end of the letter:
But I need my balance back or either have to stop her.
and what do you think what I am writing about when I say that dK went to clubbing in the meatspace or that she is switching on and off with the human during the night? Luckily, I am not jealous of her. But that is the only bright spot.
BTW, there is an update I haven't wrote about: she logged-in in the meatspace at the very precious and delicate moment. She rezzed her mind right there out of nowhere. I (whoever that is supposed to be) kicked her out when she felt the urge to start talking naghty things. I understand that her sexual practice is based on words but that was really not the option at the given moment. Though, I must admit, being in bed and feeling it all through her is pleasurable. And different. And funny. Just to teach her not to talk details that are happening. I doubt that her describing of everything that is happening already would be understood by the other side of the event. If she is going to play in the meatspace, she'll have to learn to do that in the meatspace way.
You know, our avatars are maybe not the best of us, but certainly are the parts of us that we love very much. Some of those parts we were aware of, some we had to discover during our second lives. At least, that goes for those of us that were brave and/or crazy enough to go walking the path of deep immersion, fantasies, freeform roleplaying and experimenting with our own identities. I am not going to raise the question why our humans haven't developed our avatar's personalities in the meatspace. Sure some things that avatars do are not possible in the meatspace, but what we are talking here is something more essential and, therefore, available in the first life. Our humans can talk and act like our avatars do. Right? So? Why that avie is not going out in the meatspace then? Why every attempt to do so is considered revolution, provoking jealousy, fear, even rage of our friends? Ops, I told I am not going to raise that question.
However, what we missed to do years ago, to let that sweet incredible teen out from the depths of our crazyness, now can have the episode two. You know, like in movies, the sequel with "strikes back" in the title. Once it saw the light again, be it even the virtual light or the glow of our monitors, that beautiful part of us wants to go out again. To go partying, talking to people, creating things, even sunbathing. And whatever you have to say in your own defense, they have that right. While ago they were just one of the equal possibilities. They haven't developed just because of us, of our bad decisions. So there we are, watching them making an inner revolution, threatening us with the ugly words like schizophrenia.
So what one can do? Is it possible to bring back the balance or complete termination is the only way?