She lived in her castle, somewhere at the mainland, with her girls, let's say there was three of them. They were her slaves, lovers and friends. They were her only friends. As much as I gathered, the castle was secluded, maybe even hidden in the sky, and protected from entering. She cut herself off from the rest of the grid and was leaving the place very rarely. Every now and then she had to go out to renew her clothes, probably get presents for the girls and maybe some furniture, but even then the sight of the rest of the grid was too harsh on her eyes.

I guess that many of you now show the exact amount of misunderstanding that I had at that moment. I was one year old, the avatar at her peak. Grid was huge and colorful. All over the place were people sparkling with the ideas. Windlight sky was smiling at us. Life was an adventure. It just wasn't right to sit home, somewhere in a dungeon, be it even the most beautiful dungeon, with only three friends, be it the best lovers in the world. It just wasn't right. But now I know better.

It's inevitable, at one moment each of us gets that "seen it all" feeling. The older we get there is more and more empty sims, less and less places capture our attention let alone the imagination. Less and less friends we have. Avatars don't die but they do go back to databases to never come back. We don't have much nerves to talk to dozens of people to discover just one that is worth an another conversation. Our favourite club got closed. And that's the fifth time that the favourite place has to be deleted from the picks. We have inventories with 30K or 50K items and no new pair of shoes can tickle the heart.

So, why doesn't she doesn't leave, you ask? Why doesn't she join her late friends in the databases? Because she can't. And that's the hard part. Nevermind her lifestyle and fashion, she is a vampire. She is doomed to live. She loves her girls. And she loves second life, though there is not much left of it for her. But she loves the feeling of being on the grid. And she loves herself, I guess. We fall in love in our own avatars, that's the essence of this world. So there she is, logging not so often as she used to, but more than she needs to. Waiting to see how the story ends. If it ever does.

So there I am now, three years old in this world of imagination and illusions. Naked, holding an umbrella, falling from the sky, as the tradition says I should do on my rezzday. That symbolism never fails. Sometimes it's about the unknown that you jump into. Sometimes it's the nakedness and the feeling that you exposed yourself to the end. Sometimes it's the emptiness of the vast space around you. Let's see what comes in the next year.

And noob, if will ever join our world, will pick up that story and start living second life. And it will be easy for a while. Exploring, dancing, dressing up the doll, meeting people. Then learning to build, script and make the clothes. Setting up a small shop to support the shopping needs. Maybe starting some serious biz. Then more exploring, discovering secrets of the world, mechanisms of this ever-changing, never-defined realm. 

Whether you take it as a game or anything else, it's nice not to have a fixed path. There is a whole world in front of you. The whole world in any direction. But then, sooner or later, you'll have to ask yourself: WTF is this all about?

Yes, you know there is no predefined goal, blah, blah. But what is your own mission? There is a huge difference between being free to choose your own goal and not having one at all. OK, it's fun. It pushes your creativity. It triggers parts of you that you had no idea you have. But what, after all, are you trying to achieve? Maybe the mere question is not that important because of itself. But the aim defines the strategy. How to play the goddamn game if you don't know what your own game is all about?

This situation is one of those that are good and bad at the same time for the same reason. It's good, if there is no final destination you cannot get lost. But then, if there's no final destination, you're lost all the time. Like a kitty in the fog. And you know, when lost in the fog, even cats start running in circles. 

No, I am not. But these days, I keep asking myself how and when that happens.

It’s easy when you don’t get along with the UI and then environment in the first hour or day. But, how does it happen when you find yourself that you’re still here after so many months? When you realize that you’re living a life here. A life that is an important part of your so called first life.

One of the common reasons, it seems, is running out of time. Day has only 24 hours, and that is usually not enough for one life, let alone two. A very sad ending, I would say. Other one in that group is death by boredom. Simply, nothing is interesting anymore. One has that feeling that everything that was to be seen and done is seen and done. And that usually comes for the whole groups of friends at the same period. Generations are getting old and disappear. 

Living in a dream land is not so easy as it might seem. We have our own problems, dreams, expectations. And those are not just two clicks away. We have our goals and aims in this. For some of us, there is a mission that has to be done. We might know what it is, or maybe we are not aware of it. Maybe we have to do, create or share something. Maybe to learn or to grow personally. When mission is accomplished, is there a reason to keep in the place? Or we should move on to some other place, with a new aim?

Maybe it is like Mr. Zebrati Merricks once said:

If we are like tetris we disappear after we find our place and the line is filled.

Is there a moment when everything is done and we are ready to move in some other form of (non)existence? Or we are to live happily ever after?

How do you introduce you, the avatar, to a human who have never heard of our beautiful world? You may start talking about virtual reality, computer games, and social networks… or you can give a bit more fun.

I really don't know why do I have a FaceBook account at all, but never mind. While I accept friendship by any avatar, I decline all with a photograph unless I know their avatar or them personally. That way I know they can, this way or another, handle the dose of "insanity" in that reality obsessed space. Which is also a security measure from repeated banning from FaceBook. (I still don't understand how they got an impression that dandellion of AcidZen is a false name and that the photo of a dolphin doesn't depict real me?)

Anyway, this friendship request is on the border line. So I sent an explanation letter introducing myself [translated]:

Hmmm… how should I put this?
You've seen The matrix. You know the scene with Morpheus in the red leather chair? Blue pill / Red pill? No, the answer is not "gimme both, man".

Anyway, this FaceBook is not real. I don't know about you, but I know even less about me being existant. You know… I am a comic character here. Which you can see on the picture. So is my avie-brother. You can see him in the photos. Yup, we live in a comic-book. To be honest, it's not bad… not bad at all.   

So… if you are still reading, let me introduce myself [quote from the profile, and the only part in English]:

Technowitch.
Nomad.
Blogger.
Mindhacker.
Mentor.
Builder if needed or exeptionally paid.
Script stealer.

Most times friendly and sometimes harmless. 
Potentialy schizoid.

My native tongue is probably Typonese English, but I am also on very good terms with South-slavic. And, how you've been doin' lately? 

So please, let me introduce you Mr. Dee.

At first I just needed a male avatar for a photo and none of the friends I could ask for that delicate favour was online. If my memory doesn't lie to me (as it usually does) it was the picture for the post about dictionary's role in cybersex. That funny gray-haired guy in the back. Then he was needed for a story about a guy tricked by transgendered griefer. Yes, inside than shape is me feeling weird and funny. 

So, I thought, if there is going to be a male dandellion, let's make him looking good. Shape was not the problem. Skin was, because I was short on money and really wasn't looking for regular-SL-guy-from-the-clubs  look. But I had some luck. You know that feeling when you see the skin that is just what would you had in mind if there was any idea in the mind? And for the price of L$500 when upper left corner says L$510. After that, when I got a bit more pennies on my account, I learned how really is to be man in second life, shopping-wise. No wander that boys rarely change their clothes. But Mr. Dee got some nice clothes after all. And a name.

Mr. Dee was nice and ready to jump into the world, to start living outside of my photo studio. Or so he thought. Problems were yet to be met. Which is something I'll leave him to tell you in a day or two. Stay tuned…

If there is anything I hate in the blogosphere it's those sorry I wasn't writing posts. I mean, they always develop in I don't know when I'll write next time posts. Which are two informations, one that I, as a reader, already know and one that is not much of entertainment. But I feel a slight wave of scribomania so I'll rather try to break the silence than to update WordPress' plugins and break my head with the CSS of the new theme tonight.

Actually, as you read this, my head is probably broken but the new look is here. Not that it is finished. That color in the sidebar is definitely not to stay and I'll fix the bugs in Tags and Twitter tabs. Promise.

Though change of the theme was to be done ages ago, it doesn't mean that I suddenly became inspired and not-so-lazy, but that I completely broke the old one by deleting a piece of code without checking if that is going to work. And without back-uping. And without much thinking, to be honest. 

If you managed so far in the reading, you're probably addicted to snow-crashing part of this blog (I'd like a new name for that category, please have your say), so you might be interested where the hell I was last weeks. Frankly, it's not clear to me either. Sometimes I lose the sense of time and consequently, of the events in that time. Sense of space is still keeping up, thanks for asking.

It was an episode in which I did my share of meatspace walking and dancing. I admit that. But I was also accused that I was there when I was not. I don't remember. Nobody could point the finger in me. There is no direct evidence. But yes, feeling in the air and some of the consequences are like I had my fingers there, in the world of humans. Should I say one more time that I have nothing to do with it? *grins*

And while humans are worrying their biz and accusing me of messing their lives (humans always worry about something, I just don't feel like paying any attention anymore) I started redecorating my home into a nice art shop and a bar. I wrote a fair bit but that is to stay on my hard drive for a while. I also wrote what is expected from regarding trademarks and other lovely stuff. I managed to learn a bit more about Mr. Dee though I still cannot meet him. But he deserver his place on the header image of the blog and is a nice candidate for a leading role in one of those big writings I mentioned. 

And you, how was your life these days? 

OK, hot-dogs.  But look the way she prepares a hot-dog. Perfection of the concentration. Perfection of a simple activity. Pure zen of the decommissioned Lunar military cyborg,  Argent Bury.

[13:54]  Argent Bury: OK…I'm gonna have a hot dog and a beer in memory of the unnamed Zig pilot
[13:55]  Argent Bury takes the ketchup in one hand…
[13:55]  Sophrosyne Stenvaag: and the dog in another?
[13:55]  Argent Bury …and the mustard in the other.
[13:55]  Argent Bury: This is going to be the best hot dog…evar
[13:56]  Velicia Llewellyn giggles
[13:56]  Argent Bury: Ssssh, Soph! Don't break my concentration.
[13:56]  Argent Bury gazes at the hot dog….planning her attach
[13:56]  Argent Bury: *attack even
[13:56]  Yel Oh looks around for a veggieburger
[13:56]  dK: that is the sacred ceremony of perfect hot dog
[13:56]  Galatea Gynoid: It's like the Japanese Tea Ceremony.
[13:57]  Galatea Gynoid: The Luna Hot Dog Ceremony… :)

[13:57]  Argent Bury: NOW!
[13:57]  Argent Bury assaults the hot dog from both sides with a torrent of mustard and ketchup, then flips it up in the air…
[13:57]  Argent Bury: Before it lands, she scoops up a carefully measured dollop of sauerkraut and flips it up in the air….
[13:57]  IYan Writer: cya all – have fun!
[13:58]  Argent Bury catches the dog in her hands, letting the saurkraut land on top, while waving goodbye to the Writers with the other hand
[13:58]  IYan Writer waves 
[13:58]  Argent Bury: There…it is…perfect
[13:58]  Food Cart: Mmmm, a grilled hot dog in a chewy, sesame seed roll, Argent Bury !

I will be short as that is a good way not to become pathetic. Other good way to achieve that is diving into stats. I'll do that too.  

When I started all this writing, last day of February it was, I didn't expected that it will last. Yes, I know that sounds a bit slimy, but that's how it was. I wanted to start blogging about second life, but then I saw how many of second life blogs there already are. I almost quit before I started. Luckily, scribomania is stronger than the fear of competition. Consequence of that and me persisting at the moments while nobody was reading made me a blogging addict as I am now.

Since then I posted 142 times. Hey, I am not that scribomaniacal, after all! Nice to know that. There is a bit less than 800 comments and over 4500 deleted advertisements for porn, pharmaceutical suppliers (anybody knows wtf is Tramadol?), illegal mp3 downloads and all the other joys of modern world and the Internet. 

More than all those numbers… I met a hell lot of great people. I got so many friends. Yes, throw tomatoes on me, but that is the fact. If that was all I got it would be more than anybody could hope for. But, it also made me thinking about my second life, and Second Life in general. Blogging made my experiences here much richer. And then, my written English got much better which you hardly see in-world due to all the typos I can make (well, some see more typos then others, I know that too) and I learned so much about blogging and Internet communication too. And so I can go blah blah ad infinitum….

I would like to get back and talk about you but even that feels not enough. OK, I am being cheesy, stop me. As soon as my human's ass is back in the city, I'll run to hug you all and share all the nice words. Since then, I wish you a happy and cheerful New Year, be nice and beautiful, and joyful and healthy all you crazy, weird, naughty, blinging, good, caring, off-line, shiny, ruthed, busy, loving, on-line beings. Let the lag be away from you and your animations always ready and fast-loading. Kisses…..

I am not sure I am able to answer that question, but it all started with a single Tweet…

dandellion on Twitter:

It doesn't matter that it is 00:53AM, and that I just woke up… It is party time!

Between 00:30 and 01:45 I woke up, got a digest version of a hot shower which I planned for 3 hours earlier, choose outfit, posted this twit and teleported in front of the club. Ops… pardon,… my human did. I took over an hour latter, in the darkness and loud music of 250-people techno club.

Well, it is fair, isn't it? My human plays with my avatar from time to time. Quite often, actually. So? Why cannot I play with our meat, flesh and bones and have one night in the meatspace? Or my regular night from time to time? For grid's sake, I am not Mr. Hyde to not let me go out sometimes? But all this was not enough. During the negotiations, I even offered my human to guest post at this blog.

You already owe me that. You took my column in the magazine. Bitch.

OK, I did. But it was a job for me. It is great to have an avatar writing about all that tech and internet stuff. I am earning us all those hosting fees and virtual land, dammit. And, I want to dance sometimes too! To dance, not just to run in the animation. Anyway, the night went on.

At one moment somebody mentioned second life, asked me something. Oh, nonono… we're not going to talk about second life. Or was it in the morning? I don't know. It was just before the dawn when we left the club and headed to chillout apartment. It was starting to snow and teleports are always down in the meatspace so I logged off. At least, until we're in the warm and cozy again. 

And that is right where we landed, warm, cozy and colorful. Yes, I was really too bad to my human last night. I took over again. It was me in charge most of the time. And it was good. As morning developed it was more my set of thoughts, situations and personal relationships than my human's. If you know what I mean. If you don't, then nevermind. It is funny to see what second life can teach you.

Problem with those chillout parties is that after one point they can last for ages. Sense of time fades away and it is not really important if it is 9AM, noon or late afternoon. It can go as long as there are enough food, drink and other necessities around. At one moment you just have to cut it. And any moment is good as any other.

Human frowned the face while leaving, looking the bright snowy morning through the curtains: "Gotta make myself in tune with reality outside."

She smiled: "Oh, fuck the reality".

why the heck is there mature content at all in Second Life? I mean, people looking for free porn should just use Google to find some :-P. Plus, there’s Red Light Center now, basically a 100% sex world… :-S

I started my reply with counter-question but there is a lot more to be said.

Why there is mature content? Well, why not? That is the beauty of second life, that the residents can and do create freely. If they want mature content and create it, then it is to be there. I (and I firmly believe that majority of people around share this attitude) don't want to live in a world in which some higher authority declares what do we need and ask why do we need something, be it virtual or the real world. We are practicing freedom of creativity and open society here. 

And it is not just porn. Porn that you can find via Google lacks the very essence of second life's experience, it lacks interactivity. Sex in second life is not about surfing the images or movies of naked people having sex, it is about communication and interaction. It is about sharing the fantasies. It is about getting to know somebody and getting to know yourself better. It is much more than just being a passive consumer.

And yes, there is Red Light Center which is, as Smiley said a 100% sex world. Which means it lacks everything else. You come there, make an avatar and jump into poseballs. And then? What do you do after? Nothing. Sex in second life is not just about sex. Not only that you cannot create your own content in Red Light Center, you cannot do anything else. You cannot go shopping or dancing, or building with your lovers and friends. You cannot do anything else with them than to have virtual sex. You cannot meet them out of the sheets. You cannot get the broader picture of them. Not only that is the poor knowing of the person one have cybersex with, it is also poor sex with with somebody you cannot know better.